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"Rivendell International Airport" by Primsong

A bit of humor considering what might have happened if the Fellowship had decided to take a plane instead of walking all that ways - would Anduril make it through security?


Aragorn, who had placed himself at the head of the line in case there were any dangerous moves from the guards, finally stepped up before them, handing them his ticket as he had seen previous people do.

The guard examined it. "Nrogara Cte?" he said. "Odd name."

"It's a Northern dialect," Aragorn said with a straight face.

"Going to Gondor?"

"Just visiting some cousins."

"All right, seems to be in order. Take off your shoes. Go ahead and step through the gate."

"Take off my shoes?"

"That's right. They go in this bin. You can put them back on after you go through."

Aragorn shrugged and knelt down to tug off his boots, then walked through the gate.


Everyone still waiting in line jumped.. Aragorn startled and reflexively whipped out his sword. The guards just shook their heads at him.

"That's probably what set it off."


"It's metal, you'll need to take it off."


"The gate detects if you are carrying any metal," the first guard told him as if instructing a small child.

Aragorn took a deep breath then slowly unbuckled Anduril in its sheath and laid it aside. "Now what?"

"Walk through again."

He tried a second time.


"Any other weapons?"

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Shamus Young's Dungeon Master of the Ring webcomic (144 episodes!) is finally finished.

Bilbo makes a fitting cameo appearance to wrap things up.

Worth a read, even if (like me) you've never gamed in your life. I even set up an RSS feed for this comic!
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from [ profile] belegcuthalion


Adapted from "Gil Shalos' BIIIIG List Of LOTR
Fanfic Cliches And Mary Sue-Doms"
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[ profile] envinyatar99 did a little exploring and kindly pointed out that Fellowship and Two Towers also have been translated into text messaging format.

So we have Pippin in Moria:

P1P&: i in ur m0r14 dropin ur stonz

And to Treebeard in Fangorn:

P1P&: we're in ur forest bein ur frends

As well as Wormtongue in Rohan and Frodo in the Emyn Muil:

Wrmtng: im in ur hall controlin ur king

phr0d0: im in ur mountains climin ur rox

It cracks me up that Treebeard's dialogue cannot be translated into chatspeak!

#119 teh ph3110wshp ov teh ring by Abi Sutherland

Hm, the direct links don't seem to be working now, but scroll up to #119 and #120 from the RotK one:

#120 teh 2 twrz by Abi Sutherland
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Gacked from [ profile] darkrosetiger:

Making Light
IM version of The Return of the King by abi

Bookverse, for what it's worth

44r460rn: im in ur city bein ur king
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"Elladan's Biograph Script" by Darth Fingon

The continuing saga of Elladan, son of Elrond.

A very ridiculous AU in which Rivendell bears a striking resemblance to modern day Calgary, Alberta. Elladan's journal records his daily life, beginning the summer before the Fellowship of the Ring is formed. Implied and non-graphic sexuality, both slash and het.
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Why do Aragorn and Legolas always end up in dangerous situations? Will Elrond finally put his foot down?

It's all here: the unbelievable injuries, the angst/humor/healing tea, Elrond's eyebrows, The Els, Aragorn's conveniently-missing mother ("she's just too hard to write").

I enjoy reading Aragorn Legolas friendship fics, but there is a certain amount of cliche that's developed in the fanon, and it's fun to see that exposed.

"The Sacrifices of Friendship" by peredhil lover

2 chapters, 5645 words, all audiences

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"Jackson, Where's My Paycheck?" by theharshlightofday

A hobbit in dire need of health insurance, a bumbling gardener, a senile wizard, a klutzy ranger, a prissy elf and a horny elf maiden with a speech impediment… it can only be a shameless parody of Peter Jackson’s movie trilogy!

The summary above really doesn't do this fic justice. It's quite funny at pointing out movieverse/bookverse discrepancies and the fangirl factor. I'm glad that I started reading it!

No warnings, 5 chapters so far


He pulled down his hood, and revealed a shaggy mane of dark hair, flecked with grey. His silver eyes sparkled with mischief.

“Who are you?” asked Frodo.

He smiled. “Are you frightened?”

The hobbit shrugged. “Not really.”

“Awww,” Strider pouted, “Do I not look all rascally and evil?”

"No,” said Frodo, “You just look extremely hot.”


The door burst open, and in rushed Sam, Merry and Pippin, ready for a tussle. Strider drew his sword.

“Let him go!” said Sam, fists at the ready, “Or I’ll have you Longshanks!” He paused a second. “Isn’t your sword meant to be all broken and stuff?”

“Err, no” He sheathed it in a hurry. “Anyways, what the hell do you want? This is a private conversation.”

Merry raised a hand.

“We’re here for important plot exposition.”
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"The Haunting of Minas Tirith" by [ profile] fawsley

Is it possible that the dead might walk? Or is there a more down-to-earth (with a bump!) explanation?

Fun with Faramir, Aragorn, miraculously!undead Boromir, Bergil, and Jumble the hound.


Oct. 25th, 2006 05:34 am
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"Dungeon Master of the Rings"
Images from Fellowship with words by Shamus Young

Lord of the Rings is more or less the foundation of modern Dungeons and Dragons. The latter rose from the former, although the two are now so estranged that to reunite them would be an act of savage madness. Imagine a gaggle of modern hack-n-slash roleplayers who had somehow never been exposed to the original Tolkien mythos, and then imagine taking those players and trying to introduce them to Tolkien via a D&D campaign.

Work in progress, at least 10 parts; I'm not a gamer, but this is pretty funny
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Aragorn paper doll

More Lord of the Rings paper dolls (Frodoll coming soon! And Freda?! [Is Hama next??])

Viggo Mortensen paper doll with green plaid shirt!
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Be afraid, be very afraid!

A few casting changes and pithy commentary by Viggo Mortensen and Christopher Lee. YouTube animation, 8 1/2 minutes long.

Link from [ profile] linaelyn
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Viggo Mortensen paperdoll that you can dress up. I'm not making this up.

Sorry, didn't see any of the famous plaid shirts, the football/soccer pajamas, or the green suit, but you can click and drag the Aragorn beard and accessorize (sunglasses!) from there.

From Viggo Obsession

There are also Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom* stardolls. I didn't see Elijah Wood or Sean Bean, but possibly they take fan requests.

*2 Orlando stardolls, each with different facial hair and underwear; I think that they missed an opportunity here by not including some of his famously gaudy shirts.
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"A Three Hour Cruise" by [ profile] shirebound

A quick read. See subject line in lieu of summary. You'll like it!
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"Unused audio commentary" to Return of the King
by "Howard Zinn" and "Noam Chomsky" (not really, but a parody of their political commentary)

[ profile] your_own_path found the link!


CHOMSKY: Did you notice how, before he died, Saruman openly questioned Aragorn's claim to the throne? I couldn't agree more—as far as I'm concerned, Gondor has a ruler, and has had a ruler for a long time, a ruler who represents the people of Gondor, a true nationalist and patriot. His name, of course, is Denethor.

ZINN: A popular leader, moreover, able to keep his people calm when Orcs are visibly massing only several hundred yards away.

CHOMSKY: Yes. There is no better sign of the loyalty he inspires than the fact that he is able to request a funeral pyre for a son who's not even dead and be unquestioningly obeyed. This is not a Man about to be pushed around by Elves or Istari overseers.

Part 1:

Epic slash

Jul. 24th, 2006 11:38 am
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Heartbreak, humor, gap-filler, plot twists

“The Hope Stories” by Catharine Bell

6 stories, 83,000 words

Rated R, male/male slash, A/L, L/G, G/. . .

and “The Hopelet Stories” by Catharine Bell

Humor, 3 shorter stories, 10,000 words

Rated R, male/male slash, A/L, A/. . .

userid: slashfan
pwd: vulcanlogic

Mary's vids are great, too! LotR, Star Trek, many other fandoms
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"Frodo's Exciting Day Out" by Llinos

Tolkien didn't want to use the great eagles as taxis of Middle-earth, but they'll do a lot for seedcake . . .

6 chapters, AU, no other warnings

on Stories of Arda
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“Samhain Night” by Winterhawk

Several strangers arrive on the doorstep. They're rather annoyed about a series of nasty rumours circulating about them....

One-shot; 5,000 words
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That's right, Lord of the Rings meets Monty Python.

“The Ranger Song” by Maya
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Brokeback Mountain, the Prequel

Before there were cowboys, a fellowship was made . . .

Meaningful glances from LotR with captions & some Brokeback Mountain dialogue; streaming video opens its own player
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